Archive for April, 2006

Right now I’m in what they call the Suppresion Stage. Basically ensuring I don’t ovulate through the use of birth control.

A long time ago in a galaxy far away…. I was on BC. Didn’t finish out a month because it made me break out worse than normal and my breasts became a Ouchie Zone. That and I was a perma-PMS bitch. Guess what’s happening now? *groan*

Breasts are tender but thanks to the MS its not the issue it was once long ago. They are slightly swollen and generally getting perky. Not a bad side effect now that I’m mostly numb.

The PMS thing I can do without. Can we say Mood Swings boys and girls? I’m crying at the drop of a hat and all these emotions keep swinging to and fro.

The emotional roller coaster is one I managed to get off of a couple years back. Through suppression of emotions, proper lesion placement and herbal hormone equalizers. I’d rather flat line emotioally than have this, this choking fear that I’ve got winging through my brain every few minutes.

300mg three times a day kept the leg pain and migraines away. I’ve never had migraines until after the exacerbation in May 2004.

I’m titrating off the gabapentin (generic neurontin). Right now I’m taking 200mg three times a day and the freakin migraines and pain are just amazingly awe inspiring. I loathe to think what it will be like when I’m totally off this med. Gotta get off if I want to get pregnant though.

As an interesting aside, my energy and cognition have increased dramatically. I FEEL more like myself. Not completely whole or ‘there’ but more of me is alive again. If I had of known that the gabapentin was causing all that fatigue, and brain fog, I would have switched to something else long ago.

A real fortune from a fortune cookie: Confucius say: Angel with wings not so hot as angel with arms.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Attributed - Mark Twain

Why do people feel compelled to define people by what they do all day? How many people love their jobs to the point of BEING their work? Yeah, way too many. But how many of those weirdos will take a beginning clay class?

My teacher for this class decided to do the name, occupation, how much experience meet-n-greet thing at the first class. I haven’t been in that situation since being diagnosed and being on SSDI (social security disability for those not in the know).

How do you answer such a question?

“Hi, I’m Jessica Lewis. Full name because I am not Jess or Jessie. I am Jessica and I am disabled.” (pause and then look at the next person in line)

Not a good way to make friends. Rather aggressive and a bit of an ‘in yo face’ attitude. Not my best moment.

The class is progressing nicely although the teacher is not taking into consideration my disability. What was that noise? Jaws falling on the floor in shock? Don’t I wish. (heavy sarcasm for the sarcasm impaired)

She had us do pinch pots at the first class. You make a ball of clay, stick your finger into the middle and literally pinch it out into shape. She had us do this with our eyes closed because she wanted to see how thin we’d make the walls and to have us get a feel for the clay. Either way it wasn’t a good exercise for someone that has numb fingers. But I played along. So I peeked a little.

Interacting with people who don’t know me and my few *snicker* quirks is proving to be interesting. Teacher tells us to apply the glaze lightly and continues to hound on it. So I tell her that we won’t apply glaze like Tammy Faye applies makeup. PAUSE. Nervous laughter. Gack, people without humor scare me mommy.

So I’m tired, grumpy, mentally fogged and having fun playing in clay.

Thought for the week: Always keep your toenails trimmed, it helps avoid unsightly mouth wounds from inserting foot into mouth.