Archive for the 'Day-to-Day' Category

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Attributed - Mark Twain

Why do people feel compelled to define people by what they do all day? How many people love their jobs to the point of BEING their work? Yeah, way too many. But how many of those weirdos will take a beginning clay class?

My teacher for this class decided to do the name, occupation, how much experience meet-n-greet thing at the first class. I haven’t been in that situation since being diagnosed and being on SSDI (social security disability for those not in the know).

How do you answer such a question?

“Hi, I’m Jessica Lewis. Full name because I am not Jess or Jessie. I am Jessica and I am disabled.” (pause and then look at the next person in line)

Not a good way to make friends. Rather aggressive and a bit of an ‘in yo face’ attitude. Not my best moment.

The class is progressing nicely although the teacher is not taking into consideration my disability. What was that noise? Jaws falling on the floor in shock? Don’t I wish. (heavy sarcasm for the sarcasm impaired)

She had us do pinch pots at the first class. You make a ball of clay, stick your finger into the middle and literally pinch it out into shape. She had us do this with our eyes closed because she wanted to see how thin we’d make the walls and to have us get a feel for the clay. Either way it wasn’t a good exercise for someone that has numb fingers. But I played along. So I peeked a little.

Interacting with people who don’t know me and my few *snicker* quirks is proving to be interesting. Teacher tells us to apply the glaze lightly and continues to hound on it. So I tell her that we won’t apply glaze like Tammy Faye applies makeup. PAUSE. Nervous laughter. Gack, people without humor scare me mommy.

So I’m tired, grumpy, mentally fogged and having fun playing in clay.

Thought for the week: Always keep your toenails trimmed, it helps avoid unsightly mouth wounds from inserting foot into mouth.

It’s not enough that I go and order plants in a fugue state, now I must go shopping locally and purchase more plants. Not regular plants, no. I must get new plants (tubers) that must be dug up in the fall and put back in the spring. Yes. This sounds like a good idea! No, not good, not merely good. It’s a brilliant idea! Yes yes yes! *insert crazy laugh*

Oh well, 30 begonias and dahlias. I’ll find homes for some of them but most will go in the ground with the 2 other begonias I’ve mail ordered. *doink*

Yes, I am she of the Clearly Insane Clan. It’s time to start shopping for a spring coat, something in white I think.

On the same train to crazyville… A friend mentioned she couldn’t post a comment. For a while I had that turned off thanks to site spammers. Its since been turned back on.

Tip for the day: Make sure you have a drivers license. That way you can drive yourself crazy. I don’t have a DL, thankfully its a short drive so the walk back isn’t too bad.

There’s little I love more than getting out into the yard and planting things. Doesn’t always turn out the way I want but hey, its fun.

This is why its such a shock to get an email telling me that there are 28 plants on their way.

Twenty Eight. Not 27 or 29, twentee ate. Plants. Plants that I’ve picked out, paid for, apparently have plans for.

Surprise!

Here’s the lay out if you’re facing the bed. King sized bed. Marc on the right, me on the left. Between us is Sasha, up near the top, and Kala down at our feet. Colette, the cat, floats from side to side.

My eyes fly open. Room, dark… silent. Noise, what is that? Look to the left of me. Sasha, sitting up. Upper body methodically jerking forward. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! She’s going to barf on my face!

Leap out of bed while pulling all 50 pounds of this fat sheltie with me. Get her leaning over a dog bed with a removable cover. She finishes, I put her back on the bed, climb back into the covers and start to close my eyes.

Then it happens. A voice from the dark says, “Good thinking.”

Is this God? Is this a new hallucination? If it is, will it keep me company during the days? Oh, I’m not lucky enough to have God talk to me or have my own friend (even if it is all in my head). Oh no. I must have a husband who can compliment me on my fast thinking…. while watching it all and not doing a damn thing.

That’s pretty much started my day off to an acerbic start. While visiting an MS board I’m helping with the admin told me I put in the emotes wrong because there were duplicates. This royally pissed me off. There aren’t duplicates. You have to put in an emote multiple times for each code you want people to be able to use.

That little red haze has helped pinpoint an aspect of my personality that still needs work. When someone tells me I did something wrong I get very defensive and pissy. The rational reaction would be to discuss it or to find out the reason or anything constructive. Anger, in this situation, is not constructive. It is my typical response. Damn, haven’t reached perfection yet.

It would be easy to lay the blame on the funky wake up call, which did contribute, and the extra stress I’ve been under lately, but if I’m honest I know better. Earlier in the week there was a little tiff with another person.

This other person was trying to help but was confusing and giving bad information. That irks me, especially when I’m the one that was asked to begin with. Instead of ignoring this other person or dealing with her in a techy-to-techy way I smacked her down. Real mature Jessica.

All this other person wanted to do is be acknowledged as someone with technical abilities. At least that’s what I’m guessing since on another board she again went into a whole “Oh my gosh, I’m such a geek. he he hee! Don’t hate me because I’m a computer geek” spiel.

Hate looking in the mirror and seeing something ugly like that. It’s not enough to deal with the baggage that comes with MS. Oh no, life is also going to make us look at the other aspects of our personalities. And cringe.

For those that care, and those that don’t, here’s the Sheltie. Her present to me this morning was not horfing. She made the moves, made the sounds, did not make the puddle. Yay Sasha!

Lately I’ve been waking up at 3am. Fully awake, fully aware, fully full. It takes a little time to fall back asleep but not too bad.

Last night I woke up at 3am, like normal, and thought, “Shit! I didn’t take my shot. It’s Sunday!” So I get up, get my shot, warm it under my arm for a few and do the injection while “fully” awake.

While it was indeed Sunday, it was Sunday at 3am. My shot was not scheduled until later that night.

Grumble. This makes me doubt the 3 second rule. You aren’t responsible for what you do the first three seconds after waking up. I need a better rule, the 3 am rule.

Tip for the day: Numbness isn’t all that bad as long as its not your brain thats numb.

Been hanging in there. Fluctuating between sleeping and being a manic with-it woman. What IT is remains a mystery but damnit, I’m with it.

Cognition is also improved. Didn’t realize how “slow” I had gotten until things started coming back. Doing some web work is now an achievable goal instead of an insurmountable obstacle. Odd, but truly refreshing. There’s unix commands I’ve long forgotten that are coming to me. Maybe I had been trying too hard to remember before in addition to the brain mire that went with the exacerbation in May ‘04.

The house had gotten to a state of slum that wasn’t so bad it would have been showcased on Better Slums & Hovels, although it was threatening to exceed that barrier. It’s finally getting back on track. Much to my relief. When the new Schwan’s delivery guy looks at the house and then looks at me with a concerned face and asks, “How are you doing, I mean with your MS and all?” it’s a pretty good indication that the house is near in need of leveling and complete rebuilding.

I’ve also started back on some crafts. Nothing too exciting. There’s a polymer clay shoe I started 8 months ago that is closer to completion. Between the tremors and lack of coordination it was much too frustrating to attempt. Still have the tremors occasionally, not enough to prohibit crafting with my hands.

And on a warm & fuzzy note; music has become a part of my life again. For over a year music wasn’t an important part of things. The exacerbation took away a lot of hearing and gave me the inability to listen to multiple things at once. I couldn’t talk on the phone and have music softly playing. Still have problems with that but now I’m enjoying sounds again. Bonus for me.

Tip for the day: Apply lotion after putting on chaptstick.

(Chapstick has a smooth, small, plastic lid - for those heathens out there that are unfamiliar with this most divine form of moisture.)

The definition of a good nights sleep: Waking up more times than you fall asleep.

Think about it.

If you cross a walker with a scooter will you get a Stalker?

My husbands thought, I claim no credit for that.

Always unbuckle your seat belt before trying to leave the car.